2025-03-26 (27 days ago)
I miss you my friend, but
At some point, I stopped thinking about the memories we had together, they became too distant, too blurry, you were not there to tell me how I misremembered one thing or forgot another, you were not there to jog my memory about a story we told each other or a laugh we shared
At some point, I began to wonder about all the things you now do not know about me, the things I went through where maybe, for a moment, I wanted to talk, but the ice had grown too cold for any one of us to melt
Maybe we stare at each other through these digital landscapes, maybe you see where I am, never the journey, not anymore, maybe you don't even do that, maybe you see that I posted, or shared or liked but I no longer matter enough for that, for those few seconds
Perhaps it's been too long for things to be back to how they were, perhaps it can't, we stopped growing together, the daily conversations we had rotted away, the care that was ever so flourishing, withered
Or maybe
Maybe I was too optimistic to care this much, to hold on this much, to love this much, maybe not, maybe it was misplaced, maybe it would have been appreciated, reciprocated, elsewhere, in another place, another time, with another one
Maybe I wore rose-tinted glasses for too long, maybe the long talks and nights I long for were in reality, whispers in daydreams, what I thought were hundreds of conversations maybe were a couple dozens at best, and maybe, just maybe, I never knew you at all, maybe you never knew me too, maybe it was a transient exchange at a moment in time, maybe I was just too young and my memory of it too grand, maybe I am missing the moment in my attachment to this past
The taste of your name grew bitter in my mouth, I hope one day it longer makes me hang on your name, I hope one day I forget your name, Maybe now I even dare to wish to forget it all, better never to have been